World Mental Health Day - If only you'd ask for help...

“Emotional pain is not something that should be hidden away and never spoken about. There is truth in your pain, there is growth in your pain, but only if it’s first brought out into the open.” — Steven Aitchison

10th October is World Mental Health Day

As I write this on World Mental Health Day, I can’t help but wonder what would or wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t asked for help. 'Help' is such a subjective term to some people but to me it means that you have the chance to come out stronger than before. There is no shame in talking about your problems or asking for help because you never know how your life would change- If only you’d ask for help. 

A little background into my condition: I have schizoaffective disorder which is an onset of schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. My journey officially started in 2011 when I was asked to see a psychiatrist for falling ill in college almost every day. I still remember the call that I made to my mother asking for help and so began my mental journey which has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. 

I’d been in therapy as a teenager for 'rebelling at home and school' and being 'too difficult to deal with'. However, therapy at that time was not for me since I had been pushed into it against my will and things that were shared were repeated to my parents so it never felt like a safe space. As an adult though, things changed...

Now the reason I’m writing this is not because I’m sad, it’s because through my story I want to let you know that it’s okay to ask for help. I’ve been going through this for the last 25 years and for almost 12 years I fought silently because I didn’t want anyone to perceive me any weirder than I already was. I’m not saying that I am “cured”; far from it. However, with therapy I am on the road to self-recovery and maybe even self-discovery. 

I was 19 when I was first diagnosed with depression and my parents did everything, they could to find me the right fit of doctors and therapists. It was trial and error the first year before we finally found a doctor who was compassionate to my problems and helped me find therapists to work on the problems. I’ve probably changed therapists every year from 2011 to 2022 because I could never truly open up about my problems. I realised much later that it was because before 2022, all therapists came recommended from someone or the other and I myself had never chosen to work with a therapist.

I’d been out of therapy for 6 months and looking to an online platform to help me was a cry for help. I’d never tried online therapy before but it is now something that I would recommend to everyone. I was going through a low phase in 2022 when I met my current therapist and she was the first one to tell me that it’s okay to feel the way I did and for once, didn’t try changing my emotions to mimic what the world expected me to do. She gave me the courage to face my own demons and created a space which truly was safe.

Today after being with her for almost 3 and a half years, I can proudly say that I look forward to our weekly session and enjoy therapy as a tool for overcoming my problems. She is my therapist but, in my mind, she is also a friend who’s judgement free. 

In therapy, it’s very important to find the right fit because you’re essentially putting your heart and soul in front of someone hoping that they would just listen and be judgement free. I’ve also come to realise that it’s not fair to oneself to expect your therapist to come up with solutions for your issues. You have to find those within yourself and hash it out in the safe space as much as you’re comfortable before accepting your fate or doing something to change it. 

For those seeking therapy for the first time or for trying to find the right fit, here are some mistakes I had made that you can learn from:

• Not checking the credentials of your therapist

• Not checking online reviews if any

• Not checking their specialisation

• Continuing with a therapist even if the vibe doesn’t match

• Not scheduling sessions regularly

Therapy has helped me in ways, at least in the last 3 years, that I couldn’t even imagine. Therapy has kept me alive, and every week bolsters my will to continue in life. With the pressures that our generation faces these days, if I were a doctor I would recommend therapy to everyone. :) 

I’d like to end with the fact that therapy is an experience and a chance to discover yourself and let go of your past and the traumas that come with it. It is your chance to open up and speak your truth and deal with emotions in a space that is safe and free of any kind of judgement. Ask for help because you have the fight in you but also because sometimes, we need someone in our corner unconditionally.

This article was first published here - If only you'd ask for help...