WTF: Societal Norms

Aunty: “Beta, societal norms dictate that you should be married by now or at least planning for it. Look at people around you, kitno ke bache ho gaye hain. Happily married they all are with husbands to take care of them.”

Me: ” You’re right aunty. I don’t know why I am so stubborn! Silly me! I guess sab meri family ki galti hai! Actually, you see I was brought up believing in myself and not depending on anybody for my happiness.

Aunty: ” Tumhare ghar waalon ko chinta nahin hoti? You’ve grown up now. I think it’s high time.”

Me in my head: ” I suppose you already are high, hence the stupid talk.”

Me in reality: “You see Aunty, my Ma always said dream big and then go ahead and fulfil them. I guess she just forgot to mention that my big dream should be marrying someone who would “take care” of me. Funny how that works since I’ll end up cleaning, cooking, submitting to the leadership of my husband, taking care of him essentially and doing all the things that I never had dreams about. Since societal norms might also dictate that I should not fend for myself.”

Aunty: ”But your husband will surely give you everything. A house, a car, food and you know that too.”

Me: “I’m sure but I guess you will be able to find someone who gives his love, understanding, care and the freedom to fulfil my own dreams also along with all that.”

Aunty: “This is not how it works. You are supposed to take the marriage and your husband’s dreams and build it into something beautiful for yourself as per your husband’s wish. It’s for your own good.”

Me in my head: “Sure B! Let me also go back to the 16th century and ask Birbal how’s it going for him.”

Me in reality: “Enough said aunty. Aapki baat kaise taalun main, if you have someone in mind who is ready to sacrifice his dreams at 22 do let me know. I would love to meet such a person and his wonderful family.”

Aunty: “See now wasn’t that easy. You’ll find love in your children.”

Me: “Yes aunty, while I’m still a child myself. Do let me know. After all I can’t be left by myself for too long. What if I turn to the dark side!”

Aunty: “Good you realised. I’m happy.”

Me: ” Sure you are.”

This piece was written in 2015. I am happily married and content with my life. Also, it worked out the way I wanted. Go figure!